[Jokes4u] (Fwd) FW: Fw: Corporate Lessons]

[Richard]

>>>
>>Subject: Corporate Lessons
>>
>>
>>Corporate Lesson 1:
>>
>>  A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up
>>  her
>>shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a
>>towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands
>>Bob, the next door neighbors. Before she says a word, Bob says,
>>"I'll give you $800 to drop that towel," After thinking for a
>>moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.
>>After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The
>>woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she
>>gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob
>>the next door neighbor," she replies. "Great!" the husband says,
>>"did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"
>>
>>Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to
>>credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a
>>position to prevent avoidable exposure.
>>
>>Corporate Lesson 2:
>>
>>A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs,
>>forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident.
>>After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
>>The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his
>>hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
>>The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest
>>apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the
>>convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the
>>priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek,
>>further up, you will find glory."
>>
>>Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you
>>might miss a great opportunity.
>>
>>Corporate Lesson 3:
>>
>>A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to
>>lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie
>>comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."
>>"Me first! Me first!" says the admin. clerk. "I want to be in the
>>Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof!
>>She's gone. "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in
>>Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless
>>supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone.
>>"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I
>>want those two back in the office after lunch."
>>
>>
>>Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.
>>
>>Corporate Lesson 4:
>>
>>A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked
>>him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow
>>answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below
>>the crow, and rested. A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
>>
>>Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be
>>sitting very high up.
>>
>>Corporate Lesson 5:
>>
>>A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get
>>to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, but I haven't got the
>>energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on my droppings?" replied the
>>bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump
>>of dung and found that it gave him enough strength to reach the
>>lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more
>>dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night,
>>there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was
>>spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.
>>
>>Moral of the story: Bullshìt might get you to the top, but it won't
>>keep you there.
>>
>>
>>
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>





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