[Jokes4u] WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

[David Robinson]

/*SO WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?*/

KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.

PLATO: For the greater good.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.

TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it
take.

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.

ANDERSEN CONSULTING: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was
threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with
significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for
the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering
relationschip with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical
distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry
Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills,
methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's
people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within
a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse
cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Andersen
consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a
two-way itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge
capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each
other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully
architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the
continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a
park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment wich was
strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear,
and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision,
and core values. This was conductive towards the creation of a total
business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken
change to become more successful

LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black man. The chicken
'crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free
to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken,
"Thou shalt cross the road". And the chicken crossed the road, and there
was much rejoicing.

MULDER: You saw it crossed the road with your own eyes. How many more
chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?

RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the
chicken did NOT cross the road.

MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why?
The end of crossing road justifies whatever motive there was.

JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone
ever think to ask, "What the heck was the chicken doing walking around all
over the place, anyway?"

FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the
road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, wich will
not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and
balance your checkbook.

OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road the same time, who we overlooked
in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"

DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected
in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.

EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath 
the chicken
depends upon your frame of reference.

BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.

RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road... it 
transcended it.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.

COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?

CLINTON: I did not, and I repeat, I did not have sexual relations with 
the chick!